The world's changing colours
by galindaby
Summary: How Remus became a werewolf- and why it doesn't matter in the end.


His mother looked worried. Of course mothers always look worried when it comes to their children, but this was different. Usually, Remus was allowed to play outside as long as he wanted to, the only condition being that he was back for dinner. Now it was not even three o'clock in the afternoon and she already called for him to come inside. Remus didn't understand. Had he done something wrong? Was this punishment? But for what? What did he do? He decided to obey to his mother though it didn't please him at all.

When he entered the living room, he saw his father sitting on the couch with the _Daily Prophet. _He looked as worried as his wife and there was something like guilt in his features. When he noticed his son just came into the room, he forced a smile in his direction and quickly looked back at his newspaper. So whatever this was, it wasn't punishment. Otherwise his father wouldn't smile at him. Well, better said _try_ to smile at him. Something was definitely wrong but seven year old Remus wasn't able to figure it out.

Sometimes he thought that if he had been a little older, he would have asked what it was. And maybe they would have told him instead of keeping him in the dark and involuntarily causing what was to happen.

Little Remus didn't ask, he was way too scared by his parents' silence. Normally they were happy and talked a lot, especially to their son. But today of all days they remained silent.

So they ate dinner in this frosty silence. Remus tried to cheer them up, but he didn't know what to say for he didn't know the problem. The atmosphere stayed cold and after dinner Remus decided to go outside and play a little. If his parents had something to talk about, he didn't want to disturb them.

Minutes later, when Mrs Lupin noticed her son was missing, a piercing scream was heard from inside of the little house. Quickly followed by loud cursing. It wasn't his normal attitude to behave this way, but Mr. Lupin knew that this one moment of failure could mean the end. For both them and their son. There was no time to lose, they needed to find him as soon as possible.

Remus always liked the forest next to their house. He grew up playing in there, sometimes on his own, sometimes accompanied by friends. Now and then his parents would come with him, too. So it became the place he went to whenever he felt scared or insecure. The big old trees gave him a feeling of comfort and security. But something was different today. Even the forest couldn't vanish the uneasy feeling inside of him. He felt like he was being watched. And for the first time, the dark shadows looked frightening and dangerous to Remus. The air seemed to be electrified. When he heard the cracking of a branch in a bush nearby, he tensed and turned as fast as he could. His brown eyes met two yellow ones. Their glowing was the last thing he saw. He heard the giant paws leave the ground and felt the hot, repugnant breath on his skin and then... The world went black.

The next time he opened his eyes, the world was a horrible shade of red. He heard his parents screaming for him. The creature left, but in return every part of his body hurt. He didn't know it was possible to feel such pain and still remain conscious. Something wet dripped from his shoulder and hit the ground. Remus didn't dare to turn his head and verify whether it really was blood. His blood. The voices came closer. Everything went blurry again. The last thing he noticed was his crying mother sinking down beside him and whispering his name. All was black.

A few days later he woke up in St. Mungos. Before he even opened his eyes he noticed he could hear and smell _everything. _It was all so clear. The voices on the floor outside of his room. The breathing of the patient three doors away. The smell of many different potions, ointments and blood. But what caught his attention where the voices in front of the door to his room.

"Will he... will he be all right?" The shaking voice of his mother, she was close to tears once again.

"I don't know, Mrs Lupin, I don't know. There aren't much kids who have to live with that. Most of them don't survive werewolf bites. But it will be hard on him. To lead a normal life, I mean."

Remus could hear his father taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"You did what you could, I suppose?"

"We did everything possible, Mr. Lupin. We're just waiting for him to wake up, then you can take him home with you. Until then we shall discuss the preparations you have to take for the full moon."

There were steps which lead away from his room. Silence. Remus just lay in his bed, eyes wide open. That was not possible. He, Remus John Lupin, a normal boy who always played in the forest without getting even a minor injury, couldn't be a werewolf. By Merlin, he was scared of werewolves! How could he be one if they frightened him? He was just a kid, after all. A seven year old child. Remus was clever, he knew what happened to werewolves. Everybody hated them, they were excluded from society. He didn't want to be excluded from society! He was a little boy, like millions of others. This had to be a mistake. It had been a normal wolf. Maybe some other animal. He didn't see anything, how could they be sure of it? He felt the tears starting to swell and swallowed hard to prevent himself from crying. It was not true, there was no need to cry. There had to be something to distract him from those thoughts. When he looked at the night stand, he recognized the book he had been reading this last afternoon at home.

Half an hour later, his parents entered. And the he knew it. He saw it in their faces. His mother still cried and looked at him in disbelief as if she couldn't process it herself. Her little, perfect Remus a monster? At the age of seven? Impossible.

His father's expression was even worse. He saw the guilt that had been so distant that afternoon. Now it was prominent on his features, his very soul, it seemed. Guilt and regret. The regret to not have been able to protect his only son from a danger he knew was existing – and close. Remus saw it clearly now, looking back. The tension which had irradiated from them. The silence. The look of guilt on his father's face. The forced smile. Now he knew. Somehow, this was his father's fault. And Remus started to cry. For the realization it was indeed true. For the the promising life he had lost. For the fact that all of it was the fault of the person he loved the most in this world.

Remus woke up, feeling hot tears burning his skin. It had been so long since he had last dreamed of this day that changed everything. He always tried to banish it from his mind, but he couldn't banish it from his dreams. His only consolation was that it was at least better than dreaming of the day he lost all of his friends. He decided that he probably wouldn't be able to sleep any more this night and sat up, just to find himself face to face with the man who did that to him – Fenrir Greyback. Remus should have known Greyback was after him. The other werewolves were fast asleep and he knew exactly that none of them would help him, even if they weren't.

He felt Greyback's heavy breath on his skin, as repugnant as it had been on their first encounter. Their was no one who was less human with the full moon being that far away. Disgust and hatred pulsed through his veins and he started shaking all over when he tried to control his feelings. He knew it would be no good to attack Greyback right now. It would ruin his mission for Dumbledore. And if he died, what would happen to Nymphadora? Remus felt a merciless hand on his throat and cursed himself for dying without knowing what it was like to be with the love of his life. Then the world went black again.

There was a loud scream.

"Remus! Remus, please, wake up! It's just a dream."

The familiar voice soothed him. Dora. He felt her warm body next to his. He opened his eyes and the worry he saw in hers told him that he had been the one that let out the horrible scream. After all, it hadn't been exactly a nice dream.

"It's okay, Dora. Sorry I woke you."

His voice was so hoarse he nearly didn't recognize it himself.

"Shall I get you some water? You sound like you need it."

Warmth flooded through him. Dora always cared for him. She would jump out of bed seven months pregnant in the middle of the night just to get him some water because he had a bad dream. Remus didn't know what he did to deserve such a loving wife, but he knew for sure he wouldn't let her. She probably managed to fall down the stairs and hurt herself and the child.

"No, I'm fine. You stay here."

She smiled at him and waited for him to speak. He wasn't so sure if he wanted her to know. But then again, a relationship works with honesty, doesn't it?

"What have you been dreaming of?"

"The day I was bitten."

"Oh Remus. You worry again because of the child, aren't you?"

"Dora, you don't what it's like. To be disgusted throughout your childhood. Until I entered Hogwarts I hadn't any friends at all. My parents were constantly worried sick about me. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore, I wouldn't even have been able to go to school. And..."

That was the point when she put her hand on his mouth.

"Remus John Lupin, do I look like I'm able to be worried sick?"

Right now she didn't, but Remus knew from Molly what she had been like the past year.

"Yeah, okay. Let's formulate it differently. What do you think I would do if the baby really turns out to be a werewolf?"

She wouldn't cry all the time. She wouldn't show her own worries and her weakness to their child. Dora was a fighter. And she definitely would bring down anyone who dared to stand between her child and its wishes and possibilities. He remembered how his mother had cried for him as if he had died. How she got more and more depressed and withdrew into herself.

And he remembered Dora standing up for him on every possible occasion, fighting with all the fire she had. And he knew that it was completely unimportant if the child was a werewolf or not. For its mother would love it and fight for it no matter what. If this fight was against her own doubting husband or the Death Eaters. He recognized this instant that if he had had a mother like Dora, some things would have been very different. Her being his wife made them different as well. There was a glorious future for the three of them. And when he took her in his arms and kissed her, feeling her bump between them, the world turned pink.


End file.
